Imagine..

Do you believe in time-portals?

Sounds like such a far fetched idea doesn’t it – the whole concept of time-portals, taking you to a different time altogether. And yet, we all have our very own portals, stashed away in some corners of our congested lives. If you don’t believe me, then go try on the perfume that you would wear 4 years earlier and you don’t anymore. Or what about the song that you heard a gazillion times over in a span of 2-3 months at some point in your life.. or for that matter, even if you just heard that once at some moment in your life that really changed a lot of things (yeah exactly like the movies).

All of us have these little things – smells, sights, sounds, movies, tastes and god knows what not! And as with all of you, I too have my own set. There is the Backstreet Boys – who always take me back to my initial days with G, C & S. Whenever I hear ‘Quit playing Games’ or ‘All I Have To Give’ or some of the other songs by them, there’s always this major flashback that I go through… with extremely vivid images of a particular incident, conversation or meeting coming to mind. So much so that at times i’ve actually felt like i’m reliving that time and I even recollect some things that I wouldn’t otherwisely actively would have remembered!

As with anything else, along with the good things there are also the bad. And of course I had one ambush me tonight just as I was ending a really good day!

As I was having dinner, the copy of Mulholland Drive wouldn’t play, so I went back to some of the movies that I have saved and started watching ‘Imagine Me & You’. And BAM!

There came flooding back memories… ugly ones at that too, which I had relegated to the depths of my mind. All of the bitter times and the events post the break-up with K came back to me.

And it does not matter that for the most part I have made peace with those memories and with that part of my life. Sure I am not over it all completely, and of course it’s left me scarred, but I know that it doesn’t bother me on a day-to-day basis anymore.

However it all came back a little too much in detail… the last time I was watching this movie was after the break up and it was K, LM and me watching this at LM’s.  And I remember not being able to sit through the movie because it was a little too much for me to handle at that time. I eventually fell asleep about half-way into the movie, with tears in my eyes and my heart feeling heavier than the Pacific ocean. Terrible times!

After all of this time, I thought I’d be able to watch it and truly enjoy it (it IS a nice movie). But I reall couldnt sit through it. And the stranger part of that is, I managed to watch the movie till pretty much the same point that I had stayed up for the last time.

Ahh, darn that portal!